Raise your glass and drink a toast 
to those who hail from the Emerald coast
and on this great St. Patrick's Day
let's celebrate the Irish way
But remember while you're singing 
those Irish drinking songs
We're more than just a bunch of 
green-beer chugging leprechauns

The submarine, C-Section 
and even Halloween
all invented by the Irish 
and not one of them is green
The fortune 500 companies 
are stacked with Mc's and O's
while O'Donnell and O'Brien 
both host their own talk shows

Jerry Garcia's Irish on his Mother's side 
Anjelica Huston is through her Daddy
Sometimes it may surprise you 
just exactly who's a Paddy
Most of the Scots in Braveheart 
speak with an Irish trill
And I've heard Mel Gibson's 
middle name is Columbcille

So many great Irish actors 
that I don't know where to turn
Robert Shaw, Liam Neeson 
Peter O'Toole and Gabriel Byrne
Some think Kenneth Branagh's English
but he's one of Erin's sons
a strapping lad from Belfast
like the great Van Morrison

The Billboard charts are graced 
by Ireland's musical femmes
Sinead O'Connor, Dolores O'Riordan
are only two of them
Bono's Irish, when it suits him
though I don't think he'd concur
Bob Geldof used to be a Paddy
but now they call him Sir

When we succeed, England takes credit 
like with our literary greats
but they have no claim on Joyce or Shaw 
or Wilde or Swift or Yeats
Eddie Murphy has no Irish blood 
though his name sounds like he might
But a lot of Irish people 
make you laugh on Saturday Night

Molly Shannon, Colin Quinn 
both fond ofGuinness brew
Adam Sandler's not from Ireland
but we'd love to party with him, too.
The Irish built the railroads 
and they also mined for coal
and if you're looking for forgiveness 
we've got a priest who will save yer soul

When Paddy built the White House
he added secret rooms
and a few extra large closets known 
for holding more than brooms
Oh Bill you should have taken
your moves from JFK
that president was never caught 
now that's the Irish way!

Speaking of politicians 
and sons of the auld sod
let't tip our hat to Leahy, Foley
Hayden and Christopher Dodd
And let us not forget about 
our friends in Riverdance
Michael Flatley must be Irish 
judging by that large bulge in his pants
 

Dance, Dance wherever you may be on St. Patrick's Day